Answer: oh, only 11 hours. Data specialist Mark Rittman's tweets went viral yesterday as he chronicled his struggles to get his Wi-Fi-enabled kettle to boil water.
In total, it was an incredible 11 hours until he had his cup of tea - the time it would take a regular kettle to make about 1,320 cups.
His first tweet came at just before 9am, when the kettle was giving error messages saying its network wasn't connected. From Mark's exasperated tone we can assume it'd been doing this for a while…
An hour or so later - three hours after he'd first tried to boil the darn thing - the kettle's Wi-Fi base-station had reset itself, and seemingly disappeared from the network.
By 11am, the kettle had found the network again, asked Rittman to move it around so it could recalibrate itself, then didn't connect after all.
His tweets had gone viral by this point, which had caused people to flood the network and ask Mark things like, "is this a real product?"
At 7pm he not-so-gleefully announced that the kettle was back online, and responding to voice control - but the lights were off while they downloaded an update.
A little after midnight - success! The kettle had successfully boiled and Mark could have a cup of tea.
The lesson? For all that tech experts like to proselytise about it, it looks like the Internet of Things still needs a little bit of work.